Dear Officer’s Wife – I See You Too.

Dear Officer’s Wife,

I recently wrote a blog that was intended to touch the lives of our police force.  It was intended to make them realize that they weren’t alone and forgotten by the very people that they protect.  I wanted them to know that we see them.  I have spent many of nights thinking about my fellow Law Enforcement families and I have to be honest.  It has been a wide range of emotions.  Some of those nights consisted of me falling asleep with an immeasurable amount of pride in our men and women in uniform.  The other nights consisted of sleepless moments of anxiety and uncertainty.  Last night, as I waded through the responses to “Dear Officer, I See You”, I found myself thinking about you.  I found myself thinking about what it really means to be a police officer’s wife or husband.  And, I think it’s fair to say that the definition of what that means is ever changing.  Nearly 5 years ago, I signed a certificate that would eternally tie me to our police community, and I have to say, the times have changed significantly in that short amount of time.

What is my point?  My point is that I see you, too.  I see that you are hurting right along side your spouse.  I see that your pain is even more transparent because it is blatantly directed at someone you know and love deeply.  I see that you are constantly scanning a room because you know that a split second can change your entire life and you have been taught the importance of knowing your surroundings.  I see you fiercely and loyally defend your blue family on social media.  I see that you are tired of being fearful of wearing anything that identifies you as a police wife because you know the possibility of someone hunting your family is real.  You know that someone would hurt your child to hurt your husband or wife.  I see you as you empty bullets, ear plugs, and latex gloves out of your husband’s uniform as you prepare to wash the blood out of his shirt.  I see you check your phone one thousand times because you’re waiting for that phone call that lets you know that he is okay.  I see you stop when you hear on the news that their has been an officer involved shooting because you hope that someone isn’t about to ring your doorbell in uniform.  We’ve all had that visual.  We’ve all imagined what it would be like to be handed the news that our loved ones aren’t coming home that night; they aren’t ever coming home again.

I see you spending Christmas and Thanksgiving alone.  I see you explain to your child why daddy had to leave her birthday party early because he’s been called to duty.   I see you scouring the comment sections in your local news articles while trying your hardest to not respond to someone else’s misinformed views.  I see you cry after you realize that you were only a half second away from becoming a widow because someone opened fire on a routine wellness check.  I see you watch as a vocal minority demonizes and calls for the death of the people we know; the people we call family.  We do this while knowing that their hearts are golden and their intentions are well placed.  I see you as you know that you will never be able to undo the things that your spouse has seen.

To the wives of fallen officers, I see you the most.  I see you as you say goodbye to your hero.  I see you as you are handed your husbands badge and an American flag folded in the perfect triangle.  I see you wipe the tears from your face as they do one final roll call.  I see your heart shatter as the sound of taps begins to play as you say your final goodbyes.   I see you watch the sea of men and women in blue salute your husband as he is driven away.  I see you wrap your arms around your children as you realize you have the heavy burden of explaining life to them.  You are living our biggest nightmare.  My heart shatters into a million pieces while we all mourn your loss throughout an entire nation.  Your sacrifice is not unnoticed.  Your pain is not unseen.  Your grief is felt by us all.  You are not alone.

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My fellow police wives, your courage is admirable.  It is grossly unrecognized by a world who does not understand your sacrifice.  We are all in this together.  We are a family.  We are a unit.   We are connected by a force that cannot be silenced. We all know that any given moment we can become Darren Wilson’s family.  At any given moment, we could be the families of Officer Ramos and Officer Liu.  In fact, I would say that we already are.  I know the heaviness of my heart has felt more burdensome than ever.  I know that yours must feel the same.  With all that being said, I know that the men and women of uniform will not fail us.  I know that their honor far outweighs the disgraceful attack on their characters.  I know that they will fight the good battle as long as there is a war.  I see you, police wife.  I see you because I am you…..and I will be you until my very last breath.  

I love you all.  Thank you for everything.

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About humanizing_the_badge

A group of creatives that is dedicating their talent to encouraging and supporting our Law Enforcement and their families. This is not a site where we are willing to allow negative comments about Law Enforcement. Don't even waste your time. If you want to debate something, leave it to the comment sections in your local news paper. It isn't welcome here. This is a place to encourage and support our Law Enforcement Families. HTB Productions 616 Corporate Way, Suite 2-4184 Valley Cottage, NY 10989
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110 Responses to Dear Officer’s Wife – I See You Too.

  1. I have been an LEOW for 17 years, and the changes just in the past year alone have been dramatic and draining. I have always been a strong and somewhat stoic person, but the last few months have cracked that facade. It is good to know that I am not alone in my fears and sadness. I stand proudly beside my husband and stand for all of his law enforcement family. Thank you for being a powerful voice for all of us. While my blog is not geared specifically toward law enforcement I have felt compelled to write a few posts lately to remind people of the true nature of our officers. The more positive voices we put out there the better! Thank you! Karen 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this! I read this last night and it brought tears to my eyes as a LEOW. So proud of our men and women in blue! Stay strong!


  3. Erica Freeman says:

    Just wanted to give send you a big Thank YOU for this. Coming from the daughter of a retired policeman and now an officers wife, this could not have explained any better what our lives are really like. This brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. God Bless you and all of our Law Enforcement families!


  4. krystyf says:

    Thank you for this! It’s a complicated thing being a spouse of LEO and I know none of us would change it for the world! However, because of how our society has changed so has my life as a LEO wife. The world has always been and always will be a fluid and dynamic place… a place where split seconds mean the difference between life and death. However, we now live in a world where senseless acts are no longer seen as something that rarely happens, we see it EVERYDAY! My prayer for the new year and for all the LEO’s is that you can stay strong, stay vigilant and not get lost in the hate and discontent of our world, that the shield and uniform that you wear, will keep you from turning into just the thing that “they” believe you are… Don’t forget about the oath that you took “To protect and serve.” It means more now that it ever did before… the problem is that you don’t always get to see what God’s intentions are. Did you know that because you made a traffic stop that saved that man’s life because he wasn’t speeding when that deer ran across the road because you had delayed him? Did you know that domestic abuse call that you went to, at the same house with the same couple, that child grew up to be a police officer because of the way he saw you treat his family… he wanted to help people just like you helped him… because you were the first person in his life to show some compassion? Did you know that you are making a difference each and every day? I hope you all do!! And to all the LEO wives out there… we are stronger than we think! We too need to stay vigilant in making sure that our LEO’s are being true to the oath… that we make sure that they still see the good in life and living. There is good out there but we have to seek it out and make it a priority that we don’t let the world change us, our families, and our officers!

    Thanks again for writing this article! I can’t begin to express my gratitude for shedding some light on something that few know anything about! It’s so easy for others to tell us what it’s like but until you live it… I’m sorry you don’t understand it!


  5. T.Berry says:

    I am both sides of this story. We are a two LEO household. So glad that you wrote this. It touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. We live in an ever changing and chaotic world where what we or our spouses do is challenged at every turn. I thank you for seeing us as we really are. Someone’s wife,morher,sister, friend,husband,father,brother. We are all human but more importantly we are all family bound by the badge.


  6. Hilary says:

    Phew! Tears shed on that one. trying to be brave and ignore these feelings isn’t helping. Thank you for opening the flood gates. Now I’m going to go hug my husband and enjoy his day off more thoroughly. Thank you for this.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Brenda Kent says:

    Thank you so much for writing this. Everything you wrote is so true….Thanks again…wife of a MN State Trooper for 30 years…he will retire in a year in a half…I just hope things will calm down in our great nation.


  8. pmjrmj says:

    This post gave me chill bumps and may be cry. It is so hard for people to understand the lives we lead as police wives. We live in the shadow of our husband’s (or wife’s) profession and support them in every way we know how. It is not easy. It is not always fair. We hear everyone constantly ask our spouse about certain calls, scenarios, topics regarding law enforcement. We hear them being thanked for their service but rarely as a spouse do we get asked how we are or how we feel and it can be tough. I am so very proud of my LEO. I would not change his profession for the world. I knew when we married what was in store for being married to a cop, as my daddy was a police officer as well. But what I was not prepared for was the amount of support from other law enforcement spouses. I have not met 99.9% of you but you support me, as I support you. The thin blue line is not thin at all– it by far is very thick and very strong, and for that I am grateful. You all have helped me on sleepless nights, days of depression and worry and in times of joy. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for that. We are family. We cannot be broken. We stand as one and I would not have it any other way.

    God Bless You All!


  9. Marsha Sweat says:

    Thank you for this!!! Proud LEO wife for 20 years to a husband that’s been doing this 28 years – I love all my extended family in law enforcement – God Bless each of you!


  10. Vicki Kopasz says:

    I am the ex-wife and mother of two LEO’s. The worrying never stops. The kids and I sacrificed a lot over the years for their dad’s career. We were very proud of the job he did. Guys, please thank your families once in a while, because without their support, you couldn’t do what you need to do.


  11. Bonnie says:

    THank you!! Brought tears to my eyes….been a police officers wife for 32 plus yrs. and still going strong!! Proud to be in the law enforcement family!


  12. Marcia Nord says:

    You are a strong and committed Lady to put so much emotion into written words.


  13. Maureen says:

    This is so profound and so true. My dad was a police officer for 37 years and during that time I am ashamed to say that in the very late 60’s and early 70’s when all the Vietnam riots were going on and the anti-cop sentiment was rife and I was in my teens that I wouldn’t tell anyone that he was a cop! Don’t get me wrong I am very very proud of his profession and brag often, but it was out of fear of what people would say or do that made me recoil!
    And in 2015 here we are again only in a more dangerous anti-cop atmosphere and in a few weeks my daughter will be serving in the same department that her grandfather did and although I am scared to death for her and all men and women in blue, I am also so very proud. I know she will make a difference as did my dad. I will proudly tell anyone that my daughter is a Police Officer !
    Thank you for letting people know what a police family’s life is like.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Mary says:

    Just read this seems I can’t stop the tears. My LEO was just gunned down while on duty I still get up every morning and put the uniform and badge on. Some days I just feel is it worth it and then I look at a picture of him in his uniform smiling with pride at being a LEO and it makes it worth it


  15. Amanda says:

    Only a couple of years ago I felt more safe with my husbands police car parked in front of the house. Now it’s totally opposite. I’m so proud of him and his job but especially lately I find myself panicking if he’s talking about it in public. We went to look at Christmas lights and he was talking to our kids about different things in the city and about when he first started working. I went into a complete panic thinking someone would hear him and start something or even follow us home. I’ve told our kids to keep the doors locked at all times. For so many years I have been able to push the fears of his job to the back of my mind but that’s not possible anymore. Not when one of my best friends husband is gunned down and not when all we hear on tv is negative and about them getting hunted. I now freak out when he doesn’t answer his phone or call me right back. I feel like I need to carry my concealed just incase me and my kids are targeted or threatened. Thanks for writing this! It made me cry. It’s comforting to know even reading through the comments that others are feeling the same way and I’m not just going crazy.


  16. A. Shafer says:

    retired MP wife here…thank you for all that you are and do and thanks to your spouses for continuing on making a difference. I have, and always will, support our LEO’s as well as their Families and have nothing but the utmost respect for you all. THANK YOU!!!


  17. CJ says:

    Thank you so much for this post. Although I am not a LEOW I am a dispatcher and they are my family. I cried when I read this because I cannot imagine what it is like to know when they walk out the door that it might be the last time. I know what it is like to love them, they are my family. I fear for them every day especially now. My heart goes out to all that stand behind them, beside them and with them while they serve. I truly feel that you are unsung heroes. I am proud to call these heroes in blue my family and their families I consider mine as well. I am proud of these men/women in blue everyday and I am also proud of their families. You are amazing and don’t let anyone tell you any different. Just like it takes a special person to put on that uniform everyday and a special family to stand behind that uniform. It is not for everyone but it is for you and you do it well. you make having the job that I do worth it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you do.


  18. Marvi Marti says:

    I’m the daughter of a retired police officer, mother to another, and mother-in-law to another. I loved this and shared it with my daughter and daughter-in-law. You nailed their emotions, thank you for sharing what they go through as the wives.


  19. Elizabeth,
    I just wanted to drop you a quick note to say thank you for your writings. Know one knows what a police officer and their families have to go through like…..well a police officer and their families. Thanks for all you’re doing.


  20. Melody Lantz says:

    Thank you so very much. I’m an LEOW in a small rural county. Nevertheless, we too have felt the sting of hatred for nothing more than the badge my husband proudly wears each day. My husband passed me his IPad to read Dear Officer, I See You. I sat and wept as I read your words. Words I knew could only be spoken from family. I too think there is no sweeter sound than Velcro and boots on the stairs. Thank you for giving us an outlet to gain further support and unity.


  21. Pepper's Owl says:

    Thank you so much for writing this! This is the first thing I’ve read in a while that feels like it truly resonates with my world as a LEOW. As a police wife, I feel like we often live in a gap between the civilian world and the officer’s world. We can often see both sides and it’s sometimes a very hard trench to live in. However, your posts remind me that I’m not alone. There are other spouses out there that live in the same gap. Thank you, so much!
    Praying for all of our officer’s and their families out there. God bless you and yours!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deanna says:

      I had not thought of it like that before but that is a great way to put it. I am grateful to the LEOW who started this site. It does help to know your not doing it alone.
      May God bless our families and our blue family.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. straatgendarm says:

    Respect from a Belgium Policeman.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Kimberley Ryan says:

    I am not the wife of a Police Officer, but I am the Sister of a Professional Firefighter and I have a lot of friends who are Policemen and I worry about them just as much as their wives do and I want to Thank you for writing this because I live right outside the District of Columbia and that’s where my brother works and half of my friends who I have seen go thru the academy and these wonderful Men are also Volunteer Firefighters. So they put their lives on the line 24/7/365. I have to hear people say stupid things like ” They shot that poor boy” or “They used excessive force” all the time, from people who would NEVER go out and put THEIR LIFE ON THE LINE FOR STRANGERS EVERYDAY. And give up their spare time to Volunteer to make sure STRANGERS GET TO THE HOSPITAL OR THAT THEIR HOUSE DOESNT BURN DOWN.
    So for all these people who put their lives on the line for these strangers because it is a Calling.


  24. Annita says:

    I am sitting here tonight waiting to hear my nightly 2am phone call for a check in! Thank you, this is really how many of us spouses feel


  25. Sydney Moore says:

    Thank you for your beautifully written words. It’s nice to know that SOMEONE understands how much we love our LEOs and how much it hurts to see what’s going on now, as well as how heavy our hearts are for the families of the fallen. Thank you for acknowledging what few others will and for your open and honest outpouring of emotion.


  26. Charlotte Weber says:

    As a mother to LEO, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this message. It is a bad world we live in and without the men and women in blue to protect us from the evil people in this world, we would have no one to protect us. I pray every night and day for not only my son and his wife but his friends and their families. We just never know….thank you!


  27. pugsrule21 says:

    Thank you for this, I have been a LEOW for 17 years, my husband has 29+ years and yes it has gotten harder. I too used to be able to not think of the dangers. Now with this war on cops it is hard. I have thought about the knock at my door and I always slam the door in their face. I pray for our LEO’S all the time and hope that more will come to understand their sacrifices.


  28. Courtney says:

    From a woman who has had that knock on the door and had to explain to three small children why daddy isn’t coming home, I say thank you. Thank you for writing this.


  29. Courtney says:

    From a woman who has had that knock on the door and had to explain to three small children that daddy isn’t coming home, I say thank you. Thank you for writing this.


  30. Lisamarie Librera says:

    Thank you for these words. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s so strange after 20 and going I’ve noticed so much of what you wrote. My husband has walked into a restaurant and scanned the room he never sits With his back to the door. I’ve forgotten latex gloves caught in my washing machine that he’s left in his pockets. I’ve washed blood out of his uniform only several occasions. I’ve sat with him in the hospital while he was recovering from line of duty injuries. Sometimes I’ve felt so alone in my fear of getting that one knock on my door but this time I won’t be sitting by his bedside but by his casket. Thank you again for letting me know I’m not alone in my fears.


  31. Laura says:

    My Husband is on the Job 30 yrs! He works in the 84pct where the two Officers were killed. Can’t tell you how much this hits home to me. I tell others you will NEVER know what we go through but you just did , Thank you ! God bless all the Men & Women on the Police Force all over!!!


  32. Pingback: Dear Officer’s Wife – I See You Too. | Sparrows and Dandelions

  33. Kristi says:

    I am not a LEOW, but I am a LEO girlfriend. My LEO has stepped up to the plate of being an amazing father to my, and now, our children. This breaks my heart and is my biggest fear everyday. Prayers, from one blue family to all the blue families.


    • Trista says:

      I’m the same as you, not a spouse but a girlfriend to an amazing LEO. He’s been my hero since day one. Like yours also, he has been a really great role model to my son, someone he can be proud of and look up to.

      As exhausting as it is defending our blue family to those who don’t or won’t understand, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. If only people took the time to truly understand.


      • Kristi says:

        Trista, it is very exhausting to feel like I am constantly defending him, but I will til my last breath, and heartbreaking that people do not see the amazing role model, man, lover, best friend, son, grandson, brother, and now instant daddy of 3, the morning singer of silly songs just to brighten our days, all they see is a uniform. I am a lucky woman. I will defend him and show how proud I am of my outstanding gentle, passionate, patient, officer.


  34. Susan says:

    Such an important message. Thank you for it. I know my son’s wife deals with all that goes with having a police officer as her husband. When he was young and played as a child his policeman pretend games, I knew he was building on the things that were already revealed to me about his character that would lead him to a future life of service to his fellow man. He went on to college to receive his degree and I was not surprised by it being from the School of Criminal Justice with under degree in Forensic Science. I waited with him as he submitted applications and went on interviews to find his career placement opportunity. It literally scared me to death nearly 7 years ago when he was offered and in turn, accepted a position as a police officer. He works the 12 hour night shift and has done so from the beginning. He originally felt this was a good idea for a single man so that the ones married and with children could be home with them at night. He is my hero. He understands my concerns and even after he married last November, he is good to text me every morning just to say that he is headed home, all is well and he loves me.
    Susan, mother of my favorite police officer:)


  35. Madison Gaskins says:

    Thank you so much for writing this, I’ve been a LEOW for going on 2 years now and every time he leaves for work, it’s never routine or ever going to not bother me. To this day every time he walks out that door it runs a shiver down my spine. I put on scrubs go to work, my husband has to wear a bulletproof vest, gun and a tazer just to make sure he makes it home alive that night. The media has desecrated what the men and women in blue stand for, I fear for my husband’s life even more each day. And you’re right in your blog, every time I hear of an officer involved shooting I’m glued to the TV with my heart beating a million miles a minute. I work as a receptionist and every time the phone rings I sometimes wonder is the next ring going go be his Sgt. calling to tell me to meet him at the hospital because my husband is fighting for his life after just trying to perform a routine traffic stop. My husband who I’ve been with for 5 years is my whole world and I will proudly stand by his side as a LEOW.


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