We received our first death threat. I read it over and over again before I submitted it to the FBI for review. I wasn’t reading it because the person actually made me afraid. I was reading it because I was trying to understand exactly what I had said that warranted him to threaten to take my life. It’s not that he wants to hurt me or even exchange some angry words with me. It’s that he wants to kill me. He wants to take me from the hands of my husband and from the life of my 4 year old little boy. He wants to strip my parents of their little girl and take me away from my older sisters and brother. He wants my friends and family to come together in a common place and mourn my loss.
I’m not even a police officer. And just like him, I’m a civilian. He’s angry with me because of one reason. He’s angry because I don’t agree with him. There are a lot of people in this world that I do not agree with and, I can honestly say without hesitation, I’ve never once threatened another human life. I’ve experienced feelings of deep anger and even deeper grief. I have spent hundred of days and thousands of hours next to my child in a hospital bed. I’ve been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station. I’ve been substantially hurt and wounded by people I’ve loved. I’ve never once thought that my life circumstances entitled me to that kind of hatred and resentment. I learned somewhere along the way that if I allowed those feelings to engulf me, I would lose. I would lose everything I ever wanted to represent.
If you’re reading this now, kind sir that wants to take my life, I just want you to know that I’m not afraid of you. Even more so, I want you to know that I forgive you. You don’t get to win here. You don’t get to plant little seeds of fear into my life because you don’t agree with my stances. I do, however, want people to understand why I write about humanizing the badge. I don’t do it because I believe that police officers are infallible. I know they are human. I know that they make mistakes. Even more so, I know some of them shouldn’t be an officer at all. You can’t humanize the people in Law Enforcement without stating both sides and I’m telling you this; I know there are bad cops. And just like you, I want those cops held accountable for their actions. I don’t want them representing the vast majority anymore than you want them to be an officer. I can assure you that.
Let me tell you why I do write. I write because I don’t believe in discrimination. I don’t believe in prejudices. I believe in accountability that is held to an individual instead of a single characteristic. I reject the notion that one person can represent an entire race, occupation, religion, sexual preference, or gender. I reject the idea that the majority of our species is bad. I embrace the innocent and honor the good. If you are against what you claim to be against, I’m doing exactly what you should want me to be doing. I’m encouraging the honorable to keep fighting and to keep pursuing the integrity of the badge. I’m speaking both sides of the story and trying my hardest to breathe light into a seemingly very dark world. Other than my untimely death, what do you want, sir? I’m willing to discuss my differences with people in an intelligent manner. I am, however, not going to take a threat to my well-being lightly.
Also, I would like for it to be known that it isn’t just me. Humanizing the Badge is more than one person. It’s several persons. It’s an entire group of people who have decided to take a stand and try to encourage those who deserve our encouragement. We choose to do these things without attacking or devaluing the life of any individual. Our message is a positive one. Our message it to help the good keep fighting. It’s to tell the truth when the truth is so often skewed. That is why I write. And, I’m going to continue to write about those who are worthy of my cause. And since the vast majority of our officers are worthy of that cause, that just means I’m going to be writing for a very long time.
Until next time.